Tea And Relative Demons In Space
by Anthropormorphia
Summary: The Daleks aided by vampires are taking over the world...or are they?
1. Undergorund

Chapter 1: Underground

London, England.

She was, of course, an alien, but only one person on Earth knew that. He was an alien too, but no one suspected him, either.

Everyone staring at her vaguely annoyed her, but it didn't worry her unduly, and it was to be expected if you visited a planet where you looked so unlike the residents. Oh, she was alike enough to arouse suspicion. She had the same number of limbs, in the same places, the same facial features and so on, but she was just unlike enough to attract attention.

At just over six feet in height, she was far taller than most of the females on this planet, and her arms and neck were long enough to alter the proportions of her slender body. Her hair, which reached below her knees, was a dark, bright blue, and along with her simple, loose fitting black clothing it contrasted her chalky white skin to perfection. Her heavy silver rings, along with the hoops in her ears and lip, and the studs in her tongue and eyebrow gleamed in the bright, artificial light. Above the collar of her long, leather coat, a tattoo of a wolf the same shade of indigo as her eyes wound up her neck.

Folding her arms across her chest, she glared at a Burberry-cap wearing youth whose intentions she didn't like the feel of. He was on the platform across from her, the tracks between them. He soon realised that he wouldn't be able to stare her down, as she didn't seem to need to blink.

He glanced away for a second as a train thundered past, the confined space of the underground increasing the noise tenfold. Nevertheless, over the almost deafening roar, he could have sworn he heard something else. An odd, pulsating, almost grating sound, unlike anything he'd ever heard.

When the tail end of the train disappeared, he received a nasty shock. In the space of about ten seconds, a telephone booth had appeared out of nowhere. It was weird looking though, really old fashioned. He wasn't the only one staring.

The alien girl groaned inwardly, and ducked her head. So much for inconspicuous. As the door slid open, she muttered something in a language that no one listening would have understood. Very aware of everyone in the reasonably crowded station staring, she moved a hand to her forehead, still muttering.

A tall, thin man with dark, cropped hair leaned out of the booth, looked around, spotted her and grinned. His voice stood out from the listening Londoners as strikingly northern, but they couldn't place hers. African? Jamaican? Definitely tropical. But she was so pale, even by British standards.

Shaking her head, she turned and walked into the box. He closed the door behind them, and with that bizarre noise, the booth disappeared.

Inside the TARDIS, she leaned against a wall and watched him move around, flicking levers and pushing buttons.

"So, wherr arr we goin' den?"

He glanced up at her.

"Sunnydale. Southern California."


	2. Interruptions

Chapter 2: Interruption

Sunnydale, Southern California.

Rupert Giles sank wearily into an armchair, habitually polishing his glasses. Part of his mind pondered the notion that a slayer should respect her watcher's decisions, but most of it was dedicated to the task at hand: marshalling his arguments to reason with Buffy.

He glanced at her friends. Redheaded Willow looked a little amused, her green eyes following the discussion like a tennis match. Her boyfriend, Oz, was as deadpan as usual, but he, too, followed the volley back and forth. Xander was confused. This showed in his slight frown as he ran a hand through his dark hair.

Giles glanced at the cause of the argument. Bloody pillock, he thought. She was never going to be happy about this, but he had to make it worse by baiting her. He sat, insolently relaxed, his blue eyes sparkling as he smirked at her.

Giles looked back at Buffy. The petite blonde stood before him, hands on hips, looking dangerously sulky.

"But Giles," she whined. "He's evil! I kill evil." Her lower lip poked out, making look about eight years old. "Why can't I kill him?"

"Because I'm too good for you, Slayer. You should know that by now, the amount of times you've tried."

Giles, having replaced his glasses, shot Spike a warning look.

"Buffy. I assure you I realise this, but he may well be able to help us."

"Who says I want to, Watcher?"

"You may as well, you can only fight demons."

Xander cut in.

"I have to say, I'm with the Buffster. We don't need a neutered vampire who never left the 1970's."

"Actually," interjected Oz, "the punk movement didn't really take off until the early 1980's."

Whether Oz intended to or not, he successfully broke the tension enough for everyone to calm down slightly. Buffy sat, folding he arms. Giles continued, thinking longingly of a nice cup of tea, or perhaps something a touch stronger.

"The behaviour you described, as you know, for vampires, it was, well, most unusual. Spike, having over a century of, erm, experience in vampire behaviour…"

"Oi. I am still here, y'know."

"Unfortunately."

"Yeah, real mature, Slayer…"

Spike broke off, startled by the noise coming from outside the watcher's house. It pulsated. It somehow managed to be a whirring growl. It sounded oddly familiar.

Willow, who had been standing next to the window, frowned as she peered out into the courtyard.

"Giles," she said. "How long have you had a big blue box in your yard?"

Giles got up.

"Willow, what on Earth are you talking about?"

Spike moved from his chair to get a better look.

"There bloody is, as well, Watcher. There's a 1950's Police public telephone booth right outside your front door."

As Giles, Xander and Oz went to look, Buffy called the attention back to her.

"Hey! What are you doing? You don't know anything about it. You should come away from the window, it might explode!"

Giles admitted that this could well be the case, which prompted arguments from all sides. Fortunately, just as things were getting nasty, a knock on the door interrupted. Silence fell like a clumsy child. Everyone stared at each other. Finally, Giles opened the door. There stood a man. Tall, dark hair, wearing a leather jacket. Grinning in a way that was, for some reason, slightly unnerving. It was perhaps because the smile seemed a little too wide, giving the impression that he might just go for the neck. Behind him stood a very peculiar looking girl. He nodded to Giles, her blue hair shining eerily.

"Rupert Giles?" Enquired the man. Giles nodded. "Nice to meet you." He stuck out a hand, which Giles shook. "I'm the Doctor." He continued. "This is Blue." He indicated the girl, who smiled an even, white smile. Giles stepped back, opening the door wider.

"Do come in."


	3. Introductions and Reunions

Chapter 3Introductions

Blue perused Giles' bookshelf with interest, knowing full well that she was being watched very closely.

The Doctor was looking intently at Buffy and Willow, making them both feel decidedly nervous. Giles apparently noticed this, as he cleared his throat, moving slightly into the Doctor's line of sight.

"Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please!"

Buffy got fed up of being stared at.

"Who are you and what do you want?"

"I'm the Doctor, and I'm looking for Buffy, the Vampire Slayer."

"Well, you found her," replied Buffy, as Xander tore his gaze away from Blue, who was now walking around Oz in circles, her long neck craning in most peculiar fashions. She seemed to be making her mind up about something.

"Doctor Who?" Demanded Xander.

"Don't ask stupid questions." Was the only reply he got.

Giles returned with the tea, and motioned for everyone to sit, and help themselves from the tray.

"So, what exactly brings you here, erm, Doctor?"

The Doctor's reply was cut off by Blue's sudden exclamation.

"Weeleeam?"

Spike looked up sharply.

"Lia?"

"Who else?"

There followed at this point five minutes of confusion as Spike and Blue launched themselves at each other, punching and hugging. Occasionally, a phrase such as

"You haven't changed a bit, luv!"

Or

"Wherras you look like Beelly Idol."

Was heard. Eventually, the reunion subsided.

"We met in Paris in 1904," explained Spike. "Good times."

There was a moment of silence as this piece of information, along with the idea of Spike and Blue being let loose on an unsuspecting Paris sunk in.

"Anyway," the Doctor broke the silence. "As I was saying before being interrupted, we've come to save the world." He took the silence as an invitation to continue. "We know you're as good as five humans and a vampire can be…"

"Four humans." Blue indicated Oz. "Dees one. Dees one is almost like me. He isn't Shoeran, but he changes."

"We know you're as good as four humans, a vampire and a werewolf can be, but you won't save the world this time without us. So we come in peace, to save your world."

Giles frowned.

"Very…noble…but, you say _your world_ as though you aren't a part of it. Are you not…"

"Human? No. I'm a Timelord. The Timelord, now, as I'm the only one left."

"And your friend…is she demonic or alien?"

"Deemoneec? Ees dat an eensult?"

"No! No, I assure you, I intended no insult. I only wish to be clear on matters."

Blue extended her neck to its full, and considerable, height and stared imperiously at Giles.

"I am from de Shoera deemension."

Giles removed his glasses, his mouth opening and closing like that of a surprised goldfish.

"Good Lord, I thought that was a myth!"

"You know of eet?"

"I have a great deal of literature on it. I'd be interested if you would tell me all about it sometime."

Pacified, Blue nodded.

"Eef you would educate me een de leeterature of dis world."

Replacing his glasses, Giles nodded.

"Waaiit a minute." Xander's confusion had obviously not been abated. "For those of you in our studio audience who are me, what and where is the Shoera dimension, and what actually is your name, because you've been called two."

"We weell be goin' to de Shoera deemension beeforr too long."

Xander nodded.

"And your name?"

"Preencess Liaphrérèllilyareth Marraetia lla Sorraeti." She shrugged. "Lia ees fine. Only he calls me Blue."

"You never said you were royalty!"

"You never asked."

Another awkward pause filled only by the sounds of Giles' dishwasher.

"So," said Oz finally. "Another apocalypse, huh?"

The Doctor nodded, helping himself to a custard cream.

"The TARDIS detected a rift in time, and we found that a ship fell through it, onto Earth. We don't know exactly what race the aliens are, but we know their intentions aren't friendly."

"A friend of mine told us dat de vompires werr actin' strangely, so we came to find you. Tell us aboot dem."

"Well, normally, their not known for their brains…" Buffy started.

"Watch it, Slayer."

"Can it, bleach boy."

"Butt out, whelp."

"Both of you shut up! Usually, they just feed, or kill for fun, but the last couple of nights, they've been sedating their victims. Believe me when I tell you that vampires and dart guns are not a happy combination."

"Did you notice anything odd about the weaponry?"

"Really hi-tech, aside from that, I was too busy trying to be any place that was else."

"Wise move. Go out again tonight. Take Blue, or Lia, whichever you'd rather be called. Bring back a weapon."

"What about the rest of us?"

"Willow, isn't it?"

The redhead nodded.

"The rest of us, Willow, are going to have a lesson in Jiggery-pokery."


	4. Patrolling 1

Chapter 4Patrolling the First

Buffy and Lia wandered through the cemetery, discussing boys, clothes, and kick-ass weaponry.

"…and then he moved to LA."

"Witoot sayin' goodbye?"

"How did you guess? But then, you and Spike?"

"We were good friends. I deed meet Angelus, but he was more eenteresed een dat blonde off hees."

"Darla, yeah. Didn't think much of her fashion sense. The whole Catholic School Girl thing was soo too young for her."

"School Girl? Dat surprises me. She was obsessed wit fashion when I met her. Den she deescovered dat Angelus had a soul, and left heem. She tried keellin' me soon after dat, when I refused to do a reversin' spell. I deedn't keell her just to peess her off. She hated losin'"

"What'd she try to kill you with?"

"An axe. I was fightin' wit a quarter staff."

"Prefer a crossbow personally. So…I guess I don't need to worry about looking out for you, huh?"

Lia grinned. It was a very worrying sight indeed.

"I tink you should worry more aboot yourself."

Buffy turned. There were two vampires, armed to the pointy teeth with very serious looking equipment. They, too, were grinning.


End file.
